In high school, this guy drove a forty minute commute over the Golden Gate bridge to home, and one day after school, since we weren’t tethered to Bannan Theater for rehearsals of Chess: The Musical or the Music Man or whatever it was, he was excited to get home early and make a root beer float. So much so, that he hastily parked his car and ran inside. Well, he lived on a hill and his car...
When someone with the disease coughs, sneezes, or laughs, tiny drops of fluid...– Gathered from trying to self diagnose my cough on Web MD. And now totally skeeved out by jokes and happiness.
Alex French: What a Boxing Day! →
alexfrench: Also, while it wasn’t technically a full family event, I spent a significant portion of time explaining to everyone how Doug Moe is a bad dad. “Guys, he’s really a bad dad.”
So formal night arrives, and I look pretty, I mean wow, seriously? Like, I look...– Mary Marge Locker. This column is one of my guiltiest pleasures.
After all, what did they have in common? She was a lawyer and he was a sandwich.– There is a mini-marathon on, and as I catch the end of a repeat episode, I have to know how could I have wasted so much of my life - seven seasons and two feature films worth, watching Sex and the City?
a running list of my mother's colloquialisms...
Oh and don’t you just know it, she was as mad as a wet hen. I know! It’s not like two more on the guest list will upset the apple cart. Don’t worry about it. All sisters are annoying.
let's all be honest
I’d say, for me, it’s at least four times a week. And how often have you thought about your life in terms of Sliding Doors starring Gwyneth Paltrow?
today i said
I’ve got less than five years left to make it onto a 30 under 30 list. and I’ll go ahead and admit that I meant it.
I cannot resist books. And I cannot resist book sales that take place in the conference room three feet away from my desk. So far, I have purchased, mostly for myself and for myself to read before I gift them in time for the holidays: The unabridged audiobook version of Just Kids read by Patti Smith. I continuously forget to update and download podcasts and would be happy to know I have 10 hours...
my dream would be like to be in a Woody Allen movie or something that would be...– Lady Gaga on Ellen.
Susan Casey →
suscasey: This feels big, this tumblr! I have a tumblr! That isn’t this tumblr! That tumblr is lightjams. I love it, but it is just for fiction writing. This is for posting about comedy projects and other bullsh. Also, I needed a website that didn’t use a children’s television character as an avatar…. Tired of all those other blogs texting you, hey what’s up? and then you respond...
If we kept this up, we would either grow to hate... →
a man stopped by and asked one question before...
Man Who Stopped By: Does your boss have a Time Warner cable box in his office? I'm on the fence about children.
when asked what I wanted for my birthday, I...
and I got ‘em!
the world is not ready →
At a dinner party
thingsmystraightboyfriendsays: “Banana chaser” was my nickname in high school.
sometimes on my lunch break, I try on clothes that...
Guy: How long ago did you get pierced?
Guy: But then it's only been two days! Why did you take it out? You're supposed to leave it in for at least a month.
Girl: UUGH! My bra was too tight this morning so I had to take it out.
Guy: Well, now the hole is going to close up.
Girl: No! Stop saying that. Stop. I'll put it back in later. My bra was just, too, tight.
Guy: I don't even want to think about you putting it back in yourself.
Girl: Why not? I'll just go home and do it after work.
Guy: Oh my god she is so stupid.