September 2011
77 posts
let us all go to the movies →
Rob Hugel’s I HATE BEING SINGLE Premieres at NYTVF
aloud to no one in particular on the L train
Me: Did I swear during that interview?
in the car with my mom
Mom: What did Ashley say?
Me: She was actually really nice. She said to take a look in her closet.
Mom: She must have been around people she wanted to impress.
Me: Yeah, you're right, her sisters* were in the room. But! She said I could borrow any dress I wanted.
Mom: Oh. She must be smoking dope.
*My sister is in a sorority.
August 2011
68 posts
work chit chat
Me: Yeah, and then I just went home and ate a family size bag of potato chips.
Joel: Were you drunk?
Me: No.
“Listen to my girl Virginia Woolf.”
– Lisa Bloom from her stupid-confusing book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World. I’m assuming Vanguard published this with the intention to empower women, as well as to prove that Lisa Bloom has degrees, the ability to commune with the dead, and great recipe tips...
“and populated by melancholy-seeming famous people”
– an excerpt from Vulture’s description of the guests at Sofia Coppola’s wedding that I love because Caroline Bankoff knows you can’t be sad when you’re famous.
email exchange with my mother
Mom: can u give me you SSN?
Me: Only if you can confirm for me that you are my mother and not a hacker.
Mom: you have a big mole on your back that Lucia’s father* made an incision on and looks a little better.
Me: Alright! Thanks. Here you go...
*He is also a dermatologist whose doctor's office I visited for this procedure.
