Hello Craigslister! What fortune! I am a cat seeking a roommate - any roommate! - and you have already proven yourself resourceful enough to operate a computer. Good show! Now, brass tacks. Rent is $1770 a month. I do not intend to be parodied online with your aforementioned internet skill. We split the cost of my Hulu Plus account. And even though I cannot open them without your help, the clementines are not for sharing. I choose the music, the temperature of the apartment and I insist that all video equipment, flip cameras, iPhones and D-SLRs remain in your private bedroom. Your space and my space will remain private. Do not try to encounter me licking up water in the shower, staring at the package delivery man in the front bay window, or in the Trader Joe’s Bag in the middle of the kitchen and unless I’ve decided to snuggle in the warmth your body has left behind when you head off to work, unless I decide to smother your face with my body or unless I need to spontaneously hide under your bed, I will show you the same courtesy.

Please email me with your interest and a brief description of your current work situation and sensitivity to smells. 

(Source: beatpie)